Hey guys, just giving a little update I guess.
things have... not been very kind to me lately.
I just spent the last couple of months, trying to enroll in a school to finish my education, only to conclude I cannot afford it after all.
I can't get any financing aid at all, because my country is shit like that, and because the school is in america, its expensive as hell.
So, that was a major let down. Whats next? Finding a job.
Over the last year I've been trying to get any type of job in Portugal, from my own area of work to cleaning public toilets.
There are virtually NO jobs. Portugal is in such a decrepit state right now that I simply can't find any jobs.
I have several cousins who have been trying for jobs for a few years now themselves, and one can tell where this will lead.
So, I must work OUTSIDE of my country (something I actually want )
trouble is, every company I tried until today is either not hiring, or not answering.
So I don't know what to do anymore.
To top it off, my last visit to the psychologist has been the worse thus far.
Not in the way that she treated me badly, but she started showing signs of frustration herself, where she cant find a solution for me.
She is demanding that I socialize more, that I talk to people, go out more.
Its not that I don't want to, or that I don't try to. Its just that everyone has left.
Almost all my school mates, everyone I knew except for ONE person has fled the country. and the one person that's here, is studying in another town.
So I have no one to talk to, all day, every day.
My cousins? if they pick up the phone I'll be lucky. Plus they all live in other cities.
So you might be saying " so go somewhere and meet new people!"
I'll start by saying where.
I live in a small city, everyone here is oriented more or less in one direction, and it is difficult to find the ones that aren't.
The ones that aren't, cannot be found easily. And the ones that are, do not interest me in the least.
You might say I'm being picky, but the whole point of this is because I have severe social issues, and haphephobia, so I need to be with people whom I am comfortable with.
Not the other way around.
So in conclusion, I am alone, lonely, frustrated, tied up to a country I don't like and that doesn't like me back, unable to do what I love because there isn't jobs, I cant finish school and it all just makes me so depressed I cant get myself to do art.
So... yeah... that's my little update.
I am trying to push my way through the requests, trying to use them to get my drawing grove back. Its a battle and I hope you all have patience with me.
Thank you as always for reading and being so patient U.U